Hi everyone,

How was your Christmas and new year break?

As I talked about last year, small talk are those introductory conversations, like talking about what you did on the weekend or the weather, that can lead to deeper conversations and connections between people. 

Your ability to make small talk can be very important for the advancement of your career, to meet new and influential people and can even help in your personal relationships. It will also make socializing smoother and more enjoyable.

I found a few tips from that I found interesting and useful from the blog www.theartofmanliness.com (Full article here:http://www.artofmanliness.com/2012/08/22/how-to-make-small-talk/)

"The ARE method of initiating small talk.Communications expert Dr. Carol Fleming offers a three-part process to kick off a conversation: Anchor, Reveal, Encourage (ARE).

Anchor. This is the first little thread of connection between you and another person — the lightest of pleasantries about something you’re both seeing or experiencing. A statement.

Dr. Landis is hilarious.

or

The conference tonight was fantastic.

or

This weather is perfect.

These sentences are very light in content but they are just a gradual and polite way to segue into a “real” conversation.

Reveal. Next, disclose something about yourself that is related to the anchor you just threw out.

I’ve tried to get tickets to this conference for 2 years and this is the first time I was able to get some.

By opening up a little more, we extend to the other person a few more threads of connection and trust, while at the same time providing them an opportunity to respond.

Encourage. Now you hand off the ball to them by asking a question:

Did you have a hard time getting tickets?

Keep building the conversation. By employing the effective ARE method, you’ll successfully have exchanged a few pleasantries, but these tender threads of small talk can easily disintegrate and blow away at this point…when the dreaded awkward pause shows up.

You: Dr. Landis is hilarious. I’ve tried to get into this conference for 2 years and this is the first time I was able to get tickets. How about you?

Person: Yeah, I actually tried to get tickets but they were sold out, So I just hoped some people would drop out. Luckily they did, and I got some tickets in the end.

Once the person has answered your initial question, you can use a follow-up comment or question –"  

Remember to never respond with one word answers, keep expanding and keep the questions open-ended (i.e not "yes" or "no" questions).

If you'd like to practice these small talk techniques with a native speaker, just let me know and I would be happy to help!

Keep smiling!

Zia

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