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Tutor Joy Yuan 's Column

IELTSのモデルエッセイの落とし穴

Jan 24, 2024

 

IELTSに関係する本やウェブサイトに載っているモデルエッセイは、質がいいとは限りません。IELTSのライティングはたくさん隠されたルールがありますからとても難しいです。時々モデルエッセイを書いた人も隠されたルールを知らないで書いてると感じます。

 

以下のTask 2のストレスについてのモデルエッセイは高いIELTSのコースブックからものですけど、問題が多いです。


"These days, stress is a big subject. In all sorts of jobs, people get ill because of it and have time off work. The business world is full of pressure and many people are worried all the time that they might lose their jobs if they don't work harder and harder. Lots of people work very long hours and are given very difficult targets to meet. Their employers expect a lot and sometimes they cannot cope. Young people suffer from stress too - for example, when they have to take exams that will have a big effect on their future. And in general, life is more stressful for a lot of people than it used to be because everything is faster than it used to be. People are always in a hurry to do everything and the pace of life has increased.

 

But is life really more stressful than it used to be? In the past, people didn't have the comforts that they have now. They had to do a lot more things for themselves. They didn't have all the equipment that people take for granted now, like heating and fridges and microwave overs and washing machines and telephones and cars. Life was harder for most people. working conditions for an enormous number of people were much worse than they are today, when a lot of the difficult manual work is done by machines.

 

The impression I have from talking to older people is that they simply accepted that life was hard and they didn't complain of suffering from stress. They simply got on with their lives. These days there are all sorts of 'experts' talking about how much stress people have - people didn't talk about this in the past.

 

In my opinion, people today have different pressures from the ones they had in the past, but this does not mean that they have more pressures. In the past, people had harder lives in many ways. It has become fashionable to talk about stress, but it's not a new thing- the difference is that nowadays people complain or become ill because of it, whereas in the past they didn't."

 

文章の構造と論理以外に、語調も問題です。アカデミックライティングは、どんな試験でも、短縮形を使うのは絶対ダメです。IELTSのTask 2に英語の短縮形を使うと、文法で減点されてしまいます。

 

英語の短縮形の例:

I am -> I’m

do not -> don’t

can not -> cannot

did not -> didn’t

they are -> they’re

 

IELTSのスピーキングとGeneral TrainingのTask1のカジュアルな手紙で使えます。

 

この間違いは最初のTask 2ライティングのレッスンで先生から説明されるべきものです。だからわたしはこのモデルエッセイを見たら本当にびっくりしました!

 

Task 2ライティングの簡単なフィッドバックが必要だったら、わたしの無料のカウンセリングレッスンを予約してくださいね〜 カウンセリングレッスンは2月16日まで無料です。レッスンの前にライティングを送ってくれたら、レッスン中で二つの強みと二つの改善点を教えます。読んでくれてありがとうございます!

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